Sunday, April 25, 1999
Dear friends,
After the recent tragic event of Littleton, Colorado, there remains two tasks to complete. The first is the inevitable sport of "Monday Morning Quarterbacking" - the analysis of what happened, and the oft-times useless and blame-giving prescriptions that follow it like death follows plague. The second is the more useful attempt to understand, and in that understanding, make changes in our own lives so that such things will happen less often (notice the exact wording) in the future. I hope that this note is an exercise in the latter.
There have been a few worthwhile comments in the recent days. One was a letter written to the L.A. Times this morning, stressing the truth that whatever environment that the parents may have been able to make for their kids; what would shape their lives is their peer group, and the power of acceptance to build on or destroy what their parents helped create. The other is said neatly in its headline - "No One Really Knew Them". They were outcasts, without a connection to the community about them which rejected them.
Before you get angry with me, and say that their rejection and hurt feelings do not justify murder, I agree. But here I have, in some ways, perhaps many, a different perspective. For if it had not been for a strong faith which I chose, amidst a non-Christian background; I could easily have been one of the shooters of Littleton. I grew up with the same rejection and ridicule, and without the support of a loving family; so I understand the rage, the lack of connectedness, and the hopelessness that can drive such instincts. I remember my sister's rage with my mother, and she said it well enough that I did not have to repeat it. My Mom was complaining about some thing or other, and my sister retorted, "At least we haven't climbed any book repositories lately..." (a referral to that years Littleton-type incident...)
So how do we Biblically assess this incident?
I don't think this would have happened in Ephesus.
Why?
"On the contrary, the parts of the Body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts of the Body that we think less honorable we invest with the greater honor, and the unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty; which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the Body, giving the greater honor to the unpresentable part, that there may be no discord in the Body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together." - I Corinthians 12:22-26.
Please carefully look at the language of this. Paul is not commanding; he is not advising. He was "telling it like it was." For Paul was simply describing how things work, not from some theory; but rather from the influence of a shining light - the Church of Ephesus. He wrote I Corinthians, including Chapter 13, not from an ivory tower; but from the warmth of the fire that blazed in and among the Ephesian brethren. He was writing to the Corinthians from the living example of a thriving fellowship. Notice the lack of "shoulds", and the presence of "is".
It is from studying their example, that we can get some of the most powerful prescriptions for lessening the effect of the disease that broke out fully in Littleton.
The Ephesian brethren had this powerful understanding of the role of status in people's lives (yes, about material things, but I'll bother with that later...) The more important status is emotional - how people are respected and valued from each other. They understood that the more beautiful, handsome, socially skilled, athletic, tall, well-endowed people naturally attract to themselves honor. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a simple fact of life. The fact was acknowledged. But they also understood the brokenness and pain that comes from not being honored, wanted, respected, sought after. So they made it a practice to seek after, want, honor and respect those that did not naturally attract such things. They shared the sight of Christ - seeking what was not obvious to carnal eyes, and had the hope of Christ. Please remember the line that precedes the famous scripture - "If any man is in Christ, he is a new creature..." This preceding line was the Ephesian secret wisdom...
"From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once regarded Christ from a human point of view, we do so no longer. Therefore, if any one is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation" - II Corinthians 5:16-18.
"From now on, we regard no one from a human point of view..." - they saw their 'unseemly btrethren", their non-Christian neighbors, everyone - from the vantage of heaven. In our words, what they can be - what they will be - if only, if only -
That they help the process along by following through on their hope.
And the Ephesians did.
Almost twenty five years ago, a house Bible study was asking an interesting question. For the past year, they had faithfully met - rarely missing anybody. But one of the leaders told me, quite frankly, that he didn't understand why. According to him, the studies were often boring and seemed to lack focus. What was it that kept people together? The only thing I could think of was that the Holy Spirit was obviously working powerfully amongst them, and likely had some purpose for them. So we looked to scripture for a possible answer, and an understanding to what that purpose might be. We were attracted to the tale of the Ephesian church. We asked, "what would happen here, if we prayed for unity, for that kind of love, for being a light to those in this house?" We followed through, with His help; and that summer was remarkable. We first started a time of prayer, adjusted for time zones all across the country, so that we would be together in prayer at the same time. We agreed to send out letters to all members during the summer. Phone calls and long trips to visit each other's homes were not uncommon. And we dreamed together, of what it could be like, and shared our lives.
And God answered, beyond our expectations.
That year, we prevented two non-Christian suicides, and left a legacy that non-Christians were talking about for years.
And it took us a long time to understand why. The best anyone ever came was an observation. "When someone walked into that room, they were accepted. They belonged. You could feel it, without question..." For we had a measure of the hope for each other that the Ephesians had.
And there is something else.
The most powerful enduring memory of that time (for me) is the line from the Psalms that was our "call to prayer" that summer, and the following year...
"Except that the Lord build the house, they labor in vain they that build it." - Psalms 127:1
Then and now, it must be the Lord who builds us together, or all will fail.
__________
There are a few other aspects to this situation which need commentary. 1. Earlier, I referred to the problem of the sin nature. Yes, the sin in the students that did the shooting led to the killing. But what about the sin of those that rejected them, that caused the pain that led to this explosive expression??
No, I am not going to blame this on society, or some other bullshit like that.
I am speaking to the "Seemly". You know who you are.
Why do people not follow the example of the Ephesians?
Pride.
We are all sinners, yet we express it in different ways. The strength of our upbringing, or its lacks; will determine in some fashions the ways we usually sin. But sin we will. The unseemly sin in resentment, or in self-rejection and hatred; continuing habits that reinforce their unseemliness. That is obvious.
But what about the seemly?
Well, who did the ridiculing, the rejecting, the ostracisizing, led the bullying that fueled the sin natures of the Littleton attackers?
The seemly.
I wonder - were these kids ever punished for name calling, or bullying, or was it taught to them that such things were perks of their status??
Is ostracizing the 'outs' the perk for being one of the 'ins'??
Sin may look pretty, have a nice face, but inwardly, like the Pharisees, it is dead men's bones and rotteness.
I am a life-long Christian from a non-Christian home, and I have observed a lot of Christian habits through the years.
The first is a Christianized version of the world's habit of blaming the victim. This is most often expressed when preachers talk about forgiveness, and demand the victim forgive. Cool.
But they do not command the perpetrator of the sin confess, repent and make restitution to the person they have hurt. I have often been accused of 'bitterness' for even mentioning this - though the Bible comes down hard on both sides.
So I ask you, gentle readers - who have you hurt recently? Who have you rejected, ignored, sinned against? Are you expecting them to forgive you because they are commanded to? What happened to your duty? Do you honestly believe you have done nothing of consequence?
This will sound melodramtic, but please - don't wait for your victims to shoot you or your kids, before you make amends.
Honestly, seemlies - do you believe that your manners, strength, beauty, etc. were all things earned by you, that you may afflict the world in being proud of them, and judging your brethren for their lack? What do you have that God did not give you, or provide for you (in the case of a nurturing family...) ??
_______________
And what am I to say to the unseemly? Yours is the tougher road. This Christian stuff is hard to believe, and live, without positive reinforcement from the people around you. The Ephesians understood that. But Christians in this century have not. Well, we can hope. Bitterness is a choice - it is a harsh one, when everything in your experience would give reason for it. But some of us walk a darker road. Find fellowship with those who understand. Give to God your feeling for those that don't. And remember what it is hard to - they are not your judges. They are commanded not to, though they ignore that all the time. Your only judge is one who understands - the Man of Sorrows. He knows the taste of your tears.
______________
There is much more to say. Some of you will be offended by something, perhaps everything that I have said. You will think that I am embittered, or something stupid. No, I just hate to see dead people around, when I know that if we really want to, we can build a community together where they remain alive, and are valued enough to gain from us the hope for themselves that we (ought) to have for them. But we ain't there. We do have a lot of good elements, don't get me wrong. Some of this is commentary on national matters. But there are local repercussions.
And above all - a dose a reality. We are the salt of the earth. Salt kills yeast, which is why you put it in bread. Without it, your oven will have bread caked on it for weeks.
Likewise, the Spirit in and amongst us limits the power of sin around us. But even Paul understood that in this life, you don't win them all. No matter how well we love, no matter how well we understand and walk - we are going to lose some, especially those who (sadly) do not want to be saved. Paul said, "I will be all things to all men, so that in the end, I may save some." At times, the only comfort is that we get to share the same crushing feeling of loss that Christ does, sadly, all the time...
So please consider these words. Seemlies, give attention and love to those that would naturally turn you off. You have no idea what joy you can bring. Unseemlies - walk the dark road - there is power in what you experience - in the comfort you will bring to others.
And may we all walk as the Ephesians walked.
I love you all.
John